the seasons.

oh, breezy winter.

how your winds drift in so cold.

shivering septembers, run towards the autumn doors.

closer to the evening but farther from the day.

i smelled your scent drifting from far-far away.

and in that wintery season,

i stepped outside my door;

to find that either things had lightened up or i’d been shadowed like before.

my days had gone by quickly,

with irrelevance.

as i sat bearing a burden, a feat nonetheless.

my heart continued aching.

whilst the snow shut me in.

spring flowers began to blossom.

as hibernation seemed to end.

then in my cave came summer,

burning hot again.

but i had no intention of exploring,

the seasons that came pouring in.

for i was left heartbroken, dying from within.

into the abyss.

some days i wish i would die away.

then i would finally fly away.

to turn into the bay and drive away,

into the never-ending abyss of depression.

the red on my wrists never disappears.

it’s has become an addiction i fear.

when death is so near;

i’m walking towards the abyss of devotion.

and dear, i don’t want to hurt your feelings.

but this isn’t sentiment i’m dealing.

my heart just keeps peeling.

it’s breaking into the abyss of fury.

this isn’t a mere song.

i’m afraid i’ve felt this all along.

the burning, the passion, with every new ration.

i know you haven’t felt good.

(but dear i’m much worse.)

‘cause my hearts been breaking,

and my minds been aching.

(as the blood is pouring at a chorus.)

for i’ve lost all my thought in a passionless knot.

(thinking about heaven and hell.)

my tossing and turning is the image of yearning

as i picture my gruesome, self-destruction.

so i’ll jog at a pace, i’ve ran at all day,

and i will fall into the abyss of hell.

simpler days.

i heard there was a god,

who chose which place was yours.

heaven or hell, blasted as well,

but nothing retrieved from the start.

so i expanded this dream,

of simpler things and a person who chose all my life.

but these simpler things just became unwanted dreams

and now he’s got nothing to siphon.

because god ruined my faith by turning away

and cutting my wrists with a blade.

and if i had faith i’d ask him to take me away

;to reincarnate me as a dove.

where simpler dreams really know what they mean

and my wings keep me high, high above

the rest of those beings can continue their own dreams

and not have to worry about love.

but their lives seem so bleak when their dreams aren’t in ink.

and their hearts are lost with a king.

so i’ll sing my foul song about running along,

and hope some one hears its sweet ring.

for i cannot think

how your faith cannot shrink.

when life seems so hard to continue.

when i rattle and yawn,grow weak and wait for dawn.

when all i’ve ever done is feel misery.

when god made me think of such gruesome,

terrible things.

that have put me in my coffin by now.

so slay my own heart,

it had a rhythmic start

but faith has still put it to an end.

for my heart cannot think

but my brain shall not link to a faith that is tearing us apart.

i’ve lost my faith in simpler days,

but now i’ve been defeated.

a cheap little trick, that lets god keep his wits and leaves me a flying new dove.