Ex-friends

There's nothing like the feeling of realizing you've lost some one you're close to. Sometimes you take forgranted what you thought was impossible to lose. But finally you realize the thread holding you to it was as thin as the gap between your own teeth. I understand some people have bigger gaps between their teeth than others. I believe thats part of it, I believe that some people are better with their friends than I am. So when you hear an insult from some one who used to back you up 100% you become weak. You don't know what to do, well I don't. It's like losing your insides and finding you're really only jelly. Maybe I am only jelly, weak and devourable. Of course I thought I was strong. I guess my old friend's right, what I thought was strong was only me being stubborn. So I write this from the confines of my home now knowing hatred and what it feels like to be pushed aside. I feel torn and broken and like I have no one to tell my life to now but I know I have my love sitting there. I can talk to him. but my friend won't be there. The humor won't lighten my day. Even though I've been insulted to the max, I still wish my friend the best life possible and when they're married and have kids running around their legs I'd be happy to say I'm glad. I just wish it could've been the other way.